Money CAN buy happiness…

Rumor on the streets is that Elin Nordegren will be coming up with a cool $750 million in her divorce settlement from [surprising] playboy ex-husband, Tiger Woods.

Love is cool and everything, but if all I had to do was face my very famous husband screwing around behind my back with 20 women for that much money, whatever, that’s fine. Because even if he DID give me HIV, I’d have plenty of money to get rid of it just as Magic Johnson did. Do you know what you can DO with $750 million? Firstly, I’d pay off my student loans. Then I would spoil the shit out of my family, buy about 12 Range Rovers, an El Camino, an island off of Dubai, adopt multiple babies from around the world, hire nannies for said children, and—of course—fund the solution for the Oil Spill. Then I would do whatever I wanted for the rest of my life.

What I mean to say is money CAN buy happiness. Or at least a cure for AIDS.

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Categories: Sports

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